My first guess s that the 12V battery has very low voltage and the computers are confused. There is a physical key in the key fob. Use it to unlock the door. pop the hood, and test the voltage on your 12V ("accessory" ) battery. Or, if you don't have a voltmeter, and none of your neighbor's do either, just hook up *an AGM-safe* smart charger (one that automatically stops charging when the battery is full) to the 12V battery. If it doesn't show "fully charged" after 10-15 minutes, leave the charger on it for a few hours (if you don't need the car that evening, let it charge all night long).
Oh, and if you can't charge it immediately (or really soon) pop the hood and disconnect the 12V battery so that it won't drain any more while you find a charger you can use. You only need to disconnect ONE of the poles (battery posts / cables) making sure that the cable won't come back and touch the post - that will re-connect the battery to the car.
PS: An "AGM" battery is a special type of lead-acid battery that shouldn't really be charged over 14.5V or so. "Flooded" lead-acid (the old-style ones with liquid between the plates) can be charged at a rate a tad over 15V with no damage, but that will damage an AGM battery. If *you* don't have an AGM-safe 10-20 amp 12V charger, ask one of your neighbors if they do (a good reason to stay on good terms with your neighbors, in general : you need to borrow something that *you* only need to use *maybe* once every 3-5 years, but they might have it and will lend it to you for the day.)
After the battery has been charging for 10-15 minutes, you should be able to get in the car and turn the car on, then turn the car off, and all the lights and stuff should stop.
If the car is still under warranty, bring it to the dealer to have the 12V battery tested - LOAD TESTED, not just "what is the voltage right now?" If the car is under 18 months old, they really should replace the battery for free (not that they necessarily *will*, it is my *opinion* that they *should* do it under warranty).
Good luck. If charging it fixes the problem, and it happens again in the next 3-6 months, you need a new 12V battery, no matter what the dealer told you. Bring it back to the dealer, and insist they replace it, that the 12V battery that came with the car was defective. (Unless the car is 2+ years old - that's a hard case to make with a car that old)